sometimes when i drop something i’ll just stand there and groan until someone picks it up for me
(Source: sfux)
j4ya:
MY FRIEND DIANE MADE A ZIPLOC BAG JACKET
she is the future
SNACK JACKET
SNACKET
‘big boobs don’t count if you’re fat’
yeah well bIG DICKS DONT COUNT IF YOU ARE ONE
today in philosophy i learned that witches were portrayed as riding broomsticks because back in the day it was a euphemism for riding the devil’s dick so just think about that before you consider dressing up as a witch for halloween
well quidditch just got awkward
i guess that explains why oliver wood loved quidditch so much
(Source: idiotshitbaby)

Educate yoself
Oh good thanks body we already bleed out of our vaginas once a month but yeah let’s cut men a break
thanks a heap, biology
it could be raining men and id still be single
The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing.

if slugs were fast it would be very scary